Sunday, 05 April 2009 23:30
BMW is certainly forgiving. I trundled off to the GS Safari last week, overflowing with joy about not only being able to ride the GS Safari in Tasmania, but with finally getting a good run on the F 800 GS, a bike I'm very excited about.
The last BMW I had in my care was the F 650 GS, and in an unlucky incident near Boggabri the bike ended up with a fair-sized hole in the sump and all its oil pissed out on the parched earth.
But that was a different time and a different bike, and as I rolled down the driveway of BMW's astonishingly huge headquarters in Melbourne, that incident was far from my mind. It was still far from my mind a few seconds later, about 100m from the driveway, as I slid face-first along the tarmac, watching the 800 spin along on its side into the Melbourne traffic.
Terrific.
My BMW minders took it all in their stride, picked me up and dusted me off, bent things on the bike as straight as they could, and we set off again, not much worse for wear. Actually, the 800 was amazingly unscathed. There were some small scratches on the plastic on the left-hand side, and the gear shifter was bent, but otherwise it still looked pretty much like a brand-new BMW with about 400km on it...just that last few metres hadn't been done on its wheels.
Onto the Spirit Of Tasmania I rolled, by this time with 150 or so other BMW owners, and settled into my luxurious "Porthole Cabin". No matter what you do to BMW's bikes, BMW looks after you.
On the first day I motored off, falling more and more in love with the 800 as they day went on. After some gorgeous Tasmanian scenery and some fabulous trails I pulled up to see the headlight was loose. It was only a single bolt which had vibrated from one side, but who the hell carries Torx bolts and spanners? Geebus!
Every other BMW rider on the Safari, apparently, if I'd thought to ask someone.
To do the righty, I managed to work the bolt from the other side and stash the expensive-looking headlight in my luggage, leaving the bike with a large, empty eyesocket. This didn't worry me in the least, but it seemed to cause major offence to aesthetic sensibilities of the BMW folks. Sat-phones flew, sweeps were queried and Tasmanian dealers canvassed until a suitable bolt could be found. Not just any old 12mm bolt: a genuine, BMW Torx bolt.
The ride continued while the bolt was found, and leaving my beautifully appointed apartment in Strahan, I rode into the village centre and pulled up in the middle of all my BMW buddies to say good morning. I sprung off the bike and managed to just throw myself under it as it crashed down on everyone's luggage.
There was an extra goose in the town square at Strahan that morning.
Another fabulous day's riding and I left my luxury self-contained appartment at Hobart's Old Wool Store to be told a bolt for the headlight had been found and would be installed at the Hobart dealer. I was installed at the coffee bar of the dealership, and Murray - the dealership owner - plied me with coffees of my choice.
With relief all round, the bolt was installed and the 800 was back in catwalk-ready trim. In the company of Miles Davis - spectacular rider and incredibly friendly BMW Motorrad marketing manager - we hit the trail again.
About 75km south of Hobart I pulled up to the group. As I sat there listening to the conversation, I sniffed and stupidly asked, "I can smell oil. Can anyone else smell oil?"
"You'd better turn that bike off," offered Miles, calmly.
I looked down to see both feet in a rapidly spreading pool of engine oil, and realised I'd done it again. Another BMW with a hole punched in the motor. This time it was the heat exchanger next to the oil filter.
So that was the end of my first-ever GS Safari.
I can honestly say I loved every minute of it. The bike was fabulous, the people great, and the riding offered everything that's so wonderful about dualsporting. I'm natually embarrassed about the damage to the bike, but perhaps some of it was due to the excitement of being there, and if I had the chance to go again, I'd be there like a shot!
I'll have some video up as soon as I have a chance.
TF
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